Dear Prudence, It's a Jungle Down There

I know I said I was going to take a break for the week (see I could not stay away). BUT I just had to post this article for you guys to read. Thanks to Debonair Debacles, I have started reading the Dear Prudence article from Slate. Well today I got my weekly article delivered to my inbox and when I saw the subject line "It's a Jungle Down There" I knew it was going to be good. Sure enough, I was not disappointed. It had me spraying the water that I was drinking all over my monitor because of the uncontrolable laughter.

Dear Prudence,
Last fall, I met a terrific woman from the Mediterranean who may be "the one." She's beautiful and has a great body that she likes to show off, but she is also very hairy. She never shaved back home, and having now been steeped in years of women's studies in the United States, she has become militant about not conforming to the ideal of hairless womanhood. She can't wait to spend lots of time at my parents' beach house this summer. She has bought a tiny bikini that she plans on wearing, so lots of her pubic hair is guaranteed to be on display. My mom and dad are going to faint. Hair in the armpits? European. Hair on the legs? Granola. But pubic hair all over the place? I've told her she may want to "trim up a bit," but she refuses. What to do, besides hide her from my mom and dad?

—Hairified

Dear Hairified,
If she feels about you the way you feel about her, surely she wants to snatch this opportunity to make a good impression on your parents. Appeal to her vanity: Tell her that if she refuses to trim her undergrowth, your parents' embarrassment will keep them from appreciating her great mind and beautiful figure. Appeal to her sophistication: Since she's lived a cross-cultural life, she knows that making a small gesture can be all that's needed to keep from muffing a sensitive encounter. Appeal to her affection for you: Explain that if her pubic hair is also her public hair, you're going to want to hide in the bushes. Emphasize that you are not asking for permanent defoliation, just for an application of depilatory so that when beach time comes around and your neither European nor granola parents see her itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny bikini, their hair won't stand on end.

—Prudie

Read the rest of this weeks submitions here.

Now I must go dry up the water off my monitor and desk. Enjoy!

Ciao! xoxo

~Dissolved Girl